Speaking from experience, the TeenSafe app is great for parents, but inhibits a teen’s ability to make their own choices and mistakes–both important parts of development and growth.

The TeenSafe app allows parents to view sent, received, deleted iMessage and SMS messages, as well as WhatsApp. It also displays third party apps like Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and Kik. It displays phone calls, call logs, date and duration of the call, as well as contact name and information. It also shows the current location of the phone as well as a map of the history of the phone’s location. Web search history is accessible and displayed as well as contacts listed in the phone. Tablets can also be accessed by the app. It is free for seven days, but has a monthly fee of $14.95.

On a personal level, my parents used and continue to use the TeenSafe app to check up on me constantly. This has done two things for us:

1. Caused me to neglect talking to them in person because I know that they see everything on my phone, so I don’t feel a need to go out of my way to talk to them.
2. Caused distrust between us because they are like spies, always trying to catch me slipping up.

No child is perfect. No adult is perfect. The age of social media has only made it easier to check up on the younger generation, even though they are committing the same mistakes as the previous one. Every parent wants what is best for their child, but they are hurting them by being too involved as well as being not involved enough.

Some aspects of a young adult’s life should of course be monitored. Sexual predators are real and modern social media is a minefield for young teens. It is easy to get cat-fished or caught up in something illegal. Any sending of nude photographs or sexual references in any form is considered sexting, and is illegal between minors and adults, as well as anyone under the age of consent (17 in Illinois).

A child will naturally approach adults with problems, but it is important as parents to genuinely care about their well-being and ask them in person how they are doing. Checking up on their phone conversations is hindering their privacy, and if they do not receive privacy from their parents, they will likely put their trust in someone else to keep their secrets. The bond between parent and child is broken, and it is hard to appreciate and know that parents want the best for their kids when they control their lives from an app.

I am 18 years old now and my parents have been using the app since I was 15. By 18, even TeenSafe recommends that parents slowly back off from monitoring their young adult’s actions and let them be independent.

Instead of punishing teens with an overbearing app, give them outlets to vent to their friends without parental involvement. Although parents have experienced life and want to prevent mistakes, some things can only truly be learned with independence and trust.

For more information or to install the TeenSafe app, visit https://www.teensafe.com/.

Below are screenshots from the TeenSafe website