Today’s generation of teenagers grew up viewing the world through rose-colored glasses: a way to always see the best in every situation. Mostly everyone who’s been on the internet has seen people trying their hardest to shine the most positive light on their own lives through the use of quotes, pictures and videos. This is the age of creating the impression that life is perfect.

When it comes to relationships, many Sequoits are affected by this false impression. Current relationships are oftentimes founded on a sense of false reality due to the constant desire to have the perfect life. Junior Evie Swanson has been greatly impacted by this mentality.

“I try to see the positive in all relationships and I really strive to see the good in people so hard that it’s sometimes unhealthy,” Swanson said.

Society created a very specific ideology of what a relationship is supposed to look and be like. Romantic movies, “relationship goals” posts on social media and even modern books have been made to show this seemingly perfect picture. After an elongated time frame of the same idea being advertised, people start to adapt to this idea. It’s human nature to conform to the current social climate and to what surrounds someone. Because of this, more and more relationships are shaped to fit the picture created by society.

People have gotten more accustomed to hiding parts of their relationships to the public—the problem comes into play when lies are being told between the two individuals involved. The habit of ignoring lies increases because of a desire to have the perfect relationship. In doing so, people, specifically teenagers, tend to find themselves stuck with a person whom they have no true connection. Even when this happens, couples and friends stay together because of the fear of falling short of their own expectations. This could potentially create unhealthy habits and toxic relationships. Even worse, it has the potential to make someone stay with a person who is not right for them. For junior AnLi Butler, honesty is one of the most important parts of a relationship.

“If a relationship is built off lies and inaccurate feelings and emotions, then there is no use of being in a relationship,” Butler said.

A lot of times, it’s forgotten that lies shouldn’t be overlooked just to reach society’s picture of a relationship. Swanson often finds herself forgiving things in her relationship that she knows she shouldn’t. This leads her to being unhappy a lot of times and it makes her feel a sense of guilt. On the contrary, a relationship can be healthy and happy without the existence of any lies.

In another perspective, the issue of heart over mind can be discussed. The constant battle of ignoring someone’s mistakes because of the strong emotions held towards them plays a huge role in the honesty of a relationship. If heart is always picked over mind, then the foundation of a relationship could likely be made of lies. Teenage relationships are largely affected by the internal argument of choosing between doing what is right and what seems easier and more appealing. As a generation, it’s important to have a form of immunity to the media’s attempts of creating a stereotype for the perfect relationship.

“Obviously, honesty plays a huge role in relationships that it shouldn’t seem like [a case of] ‘oh, it happens in movies, so it happens to me,’” Swanson said.

In an article for the Thought Catalog, author Biriyani Bacchus advises his readers to wait patiently until the heart and mind lineup in a synchronized matter. He suggests that patience is virtue when it comes to finding the right relationship, as one will never be happy with just the heart, or just the brain, agreeing to a person. In this case, patience might just be the solution to the eagerness of our generation to find the perfect fit and form the perfect relationship. As a Sequoit, one of the three traits that holds significance importance is respect. Being in a relationship in which lies are casually told could be seen as the opposite of respect, whether that be self-respect or respect for the other person in the relationship.

The role of communication in relationships can be seen as a guiding light for honesty. Learning how to properly share thoughts and feelings with another person is harder than it may seem; a common reason for this being trust issues. Sadly, trust issues have become such a normality for many couples. No one bats an eye when this topic is mentioned, almost as if there hasn’t been a known time when it wasn’t around. Butler has often struggled with trust issues herself.

“Trust is not just keeping each other’s secrets, but trusting each other with your heart because at the end of the day, you are trusting that person to not hurt you,” Butler said.

Communication guides honesty, until the point of reaching a blockade in its path: trust issues. In order to give a visual, one could picture honesty as a magnet. The magnetic field gets pulled in the direction of other ferromagnetic materials: iron, metal, aluminum and in this case, communication. What repels a magnet, representing trust issues, is the contact of two of the same poles. Trust issues reject honesty, while communication has the power to guide it. Just like the battle between the brain and the heart, this battle also has a solution that is found on the middle ground.

Finding the balance of being able to trust and knowing how to communicate can save a relationship from becoming unhealthy. With this balance, lies will not be ignored and two people can learn to appreciate one another without simultaneously hurting each other. While learning how to communicate, it’s vital to know the partner well enough. Knowing what each other’s sensibilities and weaknesses are makes it easier to know what topics and discussions to be cautious of having. Even with this, being honest and not hiding the truth from a partner can limit the amount of trust issues they have. After all, if the magnet gets pulled with a metal, it will not stop until touching a like pole.

Overall, it seems that seeing the world through rose-colored glasses doesn’t always play in the way it’s supposed to; however, that doesn’t mean that focusing on the positives should be portrayed as a bad thing. In relationships, the balance among communication, honesty and trust is a fine line; while seeing this line in rose could create toxicity, learning ways to properly communicate can create healthy relationships. In order to maintain the respect Sequoits are supposed to have for themselves and for others, understanding the role of honesty and not falling prey to media tactics can save one from a lot of pain.